HAPPINESS; THAT ELUSIVE WILL-O-THE-WISP

HAPPINESS: THAT ELUSIVE WILL-O-THE-WISP

There are three kinds of happiness: the kind you wish you had, the kind you think you have, and the kind that’s unmistakable. Problem is, those who don’t have happiness are looking for it in all the wrong places, and many who think they are happy are actually pleased—a paltry consolation prize. A feather on the sole of the foot may provoke laughter but it hardly brings joy.

Up until recently it appeared that the advertisers had won. People were looking to establish successful lives through goods and services, or as one writer put it, “He who dies with the most toys wins.” Is that to be our legacy, a tombstone surrounded with the gadgets that failed to add any years to our life or—more to the point—life to our years?

In the early l960’s a brilliant and my late partner, John Williamson ran computer models to determine what was wrong to cause everyone so much unhappiness and discontent? Ultimately his model findings would be the foundation to the creative design of Sandstone Retreat/Foundation, where the focus was belief that our minds, spirits, body and soul were loved and respected.

John determined that we were guided by the chatter inside our heads, a false sense of self that deludes us and which handles our problems by giving them names, namely the ego. We built a society on these false assumptions, either naively or cunningly steered by parents, school, books, film, television, advertising and other people’s feedback. And since most of the people on whom we model our behavior also conduct their lives based on false assumptions, we never learn to know anything different. We went about our lives based upon assumptions rather than real experience.

Upon examination, these assumptions turn out to be out of touch with reality. We say with the authority of tradition, ”Everybody knows that it is so,” or, “It has always been that way.” But if we try to analyze an assumption of this kind it falls apart as soon as we touch it. And that is why we prefer not to touch them and sometimes even fiercely defend them. We poor lemmings continue to leap into the sea, confident that there is land within our reach because, “everyone knows that.”

As a result, we end up living under the pressure of countless false fears. We live in a cage that is of our own making, but one that seems real enough so that we do not venture outside of it. We end up restricting, our actions and our choices, and thus strangle our precious potential. All this because of false fears based upon false assumptions.

The activity of ceremonial drumming is a pathway to the heart, leading us to know our true self. The heart reaches a magnetic field 500 times more powerful than our brain. One hour of drumming registers a huge boost to the immune system, and generates emotions of joy and bliss. It works across all cultural conflicts. Recently Cindy Stevens was in Iraq to revive their spirit. It is touching and you can view her drumming at; http://www.ubdrumcircles.com/video.php and join in to be a part of saving the world.

Meditation is another huge threat to the craziness in our lives. We are blessed with great support while heading into the New Year. May you have an exciting new year!

The Sexual Revolution Continues…

In the late 60’s, my life partner John and I created the first—and perhaps the only—commune for grown-ups where open sexuality could flourish.  Sandstone Retreat was fifteen acres of paradise nestled in the wooded splendor of Topanga Canyon, California, surrounded by sweeping vistas of the Malibu Mountains and the Pacific Ocean.  In this enchanted community dwelt people whose mind, body and sexuality came together in perfect and unrestrained unity.  The dress code was one’s own living garment, the only suit that could feel as well as be felt. The mindset was acceptance of all things sensual. Like all things that harmonize with nature, it worked remarkably well.

Over the course of four years, no less than six thousand members, came to play, party, and break the bondage of their sexual repression with the gentle encouragement of other members. Those who shared the Sandstone Experience know that its impact has not lessened over time.

It warms my heart to pay tribute to Nicole Daedone.  Nicole has had extraordinary success in continuing the Sexual Revolution.  She is the author of Slow Sex, and is in demand as a speaker on unlocking sexuality through Orgasmic Meditation. What a blessing to humanity she is, as she effortlessly and tirelessly cultivates a better understanding of the need for—and benefits of—open sexuality.

She continues to provide a major breakthrough for the huge number of women who have been sexually repressed for centuries and did not realize it.  She also pinpointed a hunger in women that could only be satisfied through orgasm.

Still in today’s culture talk of sexuality or even the thought of it, is frowned up on.  It has been a problem for centuries and continues to be one.  However, with people like Nicole and her monumental contributions towards awareness, it offers them choices in how to live a healthier lifestyle.  If more people like her continue the sexual revolution then the culture benefits.  Going against what society says is okay, Nicole takes on the intimidating task of speaking courageously and openly about sexuality. It is not an easy thing to do but her desire to inform people allows her to be courageous enough to openly and honestly speak the truth and truth shall always set us free.  If we had more people like Nicole who stepped up to the plate, imagine how different the world would look.

Our sexuality is an integrating force of such scope and magnitude that has somehow been overlooked by the culture.  How did this happen?

What Is Life Without Rules?

There were hundreds if not thousands of laws that were strictly enforced at Sandstone. Without their help, there would be no cooperation between plants and animals (You give me oxygen and I’ll give you carbon dioxide), and the ice cubes in our drinks would sink rather than float. Without the law of gravity, even the cuckoo clocks wouldn’t work! It was our zeal to obey such laws that forced us to throw off the pretentious and frigid rules of “polite society.” Nature was invited back to impose its time-honored order and pattern. Emotions were allowed to do what they were designed to do, bodies were allowed to function according to plan, and stress resumed its ancient role as a response to life threatening emergencies rather than trying to be a lifestyle. In short we saw that man’s “conquest over nature” was a lot of hogwash trumped up by an antacid company to sell more product. We wanted to take less Pepto Bismol and let nature win a few rounds.

Laws that make us who and what we are rather than something we’re not were just fine with us. John and I spent the better part of our adult lives trying to rediscover obeying the laws of nature. Many of them had been forgotten in our mad haste towards “progress.” Retrieving these from the dustbin of history meant discarding a lot of foolish edicts and mandates crafted by folks afraid music might (gasp!) lead to DANCING!

Because we are born with our human nature, children must be constantly watched and thrashed until they learn not to listen to their inner song and begin marching to the drumbeat of conventional wisdom. Bit by bit they shed the nature of “human nature” and they nearly lose the human along with the nature. “Almost” I say because the stress, regret, repressed rage, hidden longings, and feelings that there should be something more than this keep throbbing in the breast along the despairing trudge to the grave. How could we be happy living with a false self known as the ego? When the ego said; no you are not allowed to feel good, we at Sandstone said, “If it feels good do it!” We did it and it felt good, which was living proof we were on the right path. Our hearts only spoke the truth!

This situation screamed for an alternative lifestyle that by passed the negative ego and moved to our heart where we could strengthen our spirit. Our heart is five hundred times more powerful than our brains! Now we would listen to our hearts and be free to enjoy living daily in a state of happiness and joyful bliss, with the help of our environment; nestled in a quiet and beautiful natural setting called Sandstone Retreat.

Our discovery; we no longer had a need for rules that would simply infringe on our natural high and quash the inner joy and happiness, which was our God given right, and heartfelt by everyone in the community, leading us into a brave new love community. From what I know, it appears that we should feel good all of the time and it is possible! Am I wrong?

A couple of points that could be interpreted as rules at Sandstone were; don’t force yourself on anyone, and no show of violence will be tolerated. Any display of either one would be grounds to cancel memberships. We scheduled Monday night meetings to hear and clear any grievances from the family members. Any further questions were about scheduling of tasks to be done.